#if you intend for that track to be part of that album you should be able to freely purchase the album with it included

[sunflowerinthekitchen]

artists stop locking tracks under severely limited US centric physical releases challenge

[dd-is-my-guiltypleasure]

David Duchovny: ‘The X-Files took up my life, but it was a miracle’

It's behind a paywall so if somebody has access I would love to read the article

Update : got it, thanks @aimsies-mctaymellburg

David Duchovny: ‘The X-Files took up my life, but it was a miracle’

As Fox Mulder in the hit sci-fi show, the actor and singer peddled fringe conspiracy theories. Now the 63-year-old says Mulder’s paranoia is everywhere.

In hindsight it wasn’t a great idea for me to kick off an interview with David Duchovny by suggesting that he was a musical dilettante. You’re most likely to know Duchovny, of course, as Fox Mulder, the conspiracy-theory-guzzling FBI agent in The X Files, one of the biggest shows of the Nineties, watched at its peak by 30 million in America alone. Perhaps you saw him as the womanising writer Hank Moody in Californication or the 1960s detective Sam Hodiak in Aquarius. You may even have read some of his five books.

Duchovny, a New Yorker living in Los Angeles, is less known for music, although he’s been making rather decent folk-rock for a decade — songwriting, playing guitar and singing in a honeyed drawl. His 2015 songHell or Highwater has been streamed more than a million times while Layin’ on the Tracks, from 2020, has pointed lyrics about a certain politician (“It’s a killing joke that no one laughs at/ A stupid orange man in a cheap red hat”). He has released three albums, with a fourth due next year, and this month plays Latitude festival in Suffolk and the 2,000-capacity Shepherds Bush Empire in London.

So does the 63-year-old feel that he should no longer be seen as just a musical dabbler? “That’s part of a lazy person’s perception,” he says, bristling slightly. “It’s a lens through which people want to see me. I think music is an innocent art form — you listen to it and you have a response. To bring any kind of baggage to bear on it in the beginning seems to me to be dishonest, but that’s the way things go.”

YouTube clips of recent shows suggest people were having a lovely time, I say. This doesn’t have the soothing effect intended. YouTube footage lingers “because of the horror of the cell phone”, Duchovny says. “It’s a pet peeve of mine.” Is he tempted to ban them at his shows, as artists from Prince to Bob Dylan have? “I don’t know that I can enforce that view on anybody.”

For Duchovny, it’s as much about phones limiting his performance as it is about the audience not living in the moment. “To do something unique or for the first time, to reach for a note or play a different melody — all these are chances you might take if you weren’t inhibited by the fact that somebody is [recording] it,” he says. “You’ve got to be able to fail and the ubiquity of cell phones makes failure scarier than it needs to be.”

Failure is the key to another of his jobs: podcasting. In his series Fail Better, he adroitly interviews guests including Bette Midler, Ben Stiller and Sean Penn about their failures. “I feel like I’ve been failing my entire life,” Duchovny said on launching it in May. That may sound strange from a man with English degrees from Princeton and Yale, who has won a Golden Globe for The X Files and another for Californication.

Is he familiar with Elizabeth Day, the British journalist who has hosted a successful podcast called How to Fail since 2018? When Duchovny announced Fail Better, Day tweeted: “I might invite David Duchovny on @howtofail to discuss his failure to be original.”

“This is the first I’ve heard of it,” he says. “If she wants to be rigorous in her thinking, she would investigate what my approach to failure is. I don’t know what her approach to it is. My sense, since failure is universal, is that there’s room out there for more than one discussion.” This is a rather po-faced response to what seemed like a playful comment from Day, and surprising because Duchovny has a wicked sense of humour. He can also afford to be more magnanimous, given that his podcast is at No 12 in the UK chart and hers is at 54.

Gillian Anderson, his X Files co-star, certainly likes his podcast, writing this week on Instagram that she had listened to all of the episodes and found them “intimate and vulnerable … very smart questions, although I wouldn’t expect anything else from you [David]”.

“It’s very sweet,” Duchovny says. “I will email her and thank her. I’m sure somebody running my social media is … I don’t really like to be on social media.” Later that day his Instagram account replies to Anderson’s post: “Thank you for listening, you have an open invite [to appear on his podcast]!”

That encounter would be worth hearing because his relationship with Anderson is fascinating. Despite their chemistry in The X Files there were rumours of friction — although they looked to be getting on swimmingly when they appeared on Jimmy Kimmel’s talk show in 2016 to publicise the return of the show, which ran for two more seasons.

When asked by Kimmel about frostiness between her and Duchovny in the Nineties, Anderson collapsed into giggles, laid her head in Duchovny’s lap and put any froideur down to the dampness of Vancouver, where the series was shot. Her hair kept going frizzy, she explained, and “for every single take we’d have to stand there and blow dry my hair again”.

“And I got pissed at that?” Duchovny asked.

“Well, I think it added to the tension,” Anderson said.

“It kinda makes me sound like an asshole,” Duchovny replied.

Anderson had nothing to do with him leaving The X Files in 2002, he says now. “That was just me wanting to have a family, but also to try other things. It had kind of taken up my life. There was no animosity with the actual show and the people that I worked with. I am proud of the show — it was culturally central in a way that it’s very hard to do these days in a fragmented landscape. There’s so many lightning-strike aspects to it that I can’t help but think of it as some kind of a miracle.”

The X Files gave conspiracy theories a kind of nobility — “the truth is out there”, as its tagline ran. Now they are more widespread and pernicious. “Mulder’s way of looking at the world was through conspiracy and that was the fringe at that point,” Duchovny says. “It doesn’t seem to be so fringe any more. It’s really the world that [The X Files creator] Chris Carter foresaw happening almost 30 years ago. He’s almost clairvoyant in that case.” Is Duchovny more evidence-based than Mulder? “Not at all. I’m an artist — I am associative-based and I see poetry as science and science as poetry.” So are there some conspiracy theories that he buys into? “No, I’m talking about art. I think conspiracies are mostly just lazy thinking.”

One failure that has shaped Duchovny is that of his marriage to the actress Téa Leoni, who starred in Bad Boys and Deep Impact. They married in 1997 and have a daughter, West, 25, and a son, Kyd, 22, but divorced in 2014. “That darkness does deepen you. It makes you more empathetic and humble,” Duchovny says. One of the themes of his podcast is “the difference between humiliating and humbling. Often we focus on humiliation in our culture. I don’t see any positives coming from humiliation, but I see a lot of them coming from humility.”

One wonders if the reference to humiliation has something to do with Duchovny checking into rehab for sex addiction in 2008. Could him playing the bed-hopping Hank in Californication be a case of art imitating life? “People never tire of trying to figure that out,” he says with a sigh. “But to me, that’s not what acting is about. I don’t look for things that are mirroring my life in any way.”

Well, there are parallels in Reverse the Curse, the 2023 film that Duchovny directed, starred in and adapted from his book Bucky F***ing Dent. He plays a would-be novelist who has “sacrificed his artistic dream to put food on the table”. His father, a publicist, did the same, publishing his debut at 75, the year before he died. The film has some really funny scenes, including one where Marty and his son have a farting competition in a motel room that ends up smelling like “an aquarium that fed a sock”. That may have come from a line in Aquarius where someone says something similar about a police station. “I might have ripped it off, I’m not sure,” Duchovny says. “ You can ask Elizabeth Day about that.”

David Duchovny will perform at Latitude festival, near Southwold on July 25 and 02 Shepherd’s Bush Empire, W12 on July 27

[toskarin]

»GET://NOISE« WORKING WITH RI47 HEAVY INDUSTRIES FOR PROFIT AND UNPROFIT

so, I do feel like I should clarify my actual policy on using my tracks in projects. I do this every now and again, but to be fair, circumstances change pretty often

these aren't blanket licences or anything because honestly a few of these are like... complicated enough that it's literally easier to just talk to someone after the conditions are met and give them permission in writing. in nearly every single case, the first step is "contact me directly and we'll make things work"

if you're working on a project to raise money for Palestinian aid, I am especially interested in working with you. of course, I will be checking to make sure the money is actually going to help the people it's supposed to, as I'm unfortunately aware of how many people are trying to take advantage of these tragedies for their own benefit

a case-by-case reference with slightly more detail is included below

-

if you want to download Ri47 music to listen to but can't afford it... legally, I care that you pirate my music. personally, never tell me about it. I don't want to see that, I'm not signed to a label that seeks out uses of my music, and I understand that the international economy is in shambles. ideologically, I am pro-piracy. don't do anything that will legally force me to care (using my work in a commercial project without permission, for example) and we'll both keep on living our lives as we were

if you want to remix a Ri47 track and need stems… I don't have the stems either. I'm bad at recordkeeping, tune my samples by ear, and primarily do my own last pass of mixing in audacity. I might have some stems kicking around, but the odds are that I'm as empty-handed as you are. sorry about that lol

if you want to use a Ri47 song in your freeware (read: not for sale) project... that's probably fine. contact me first, not because I'm going to spring a fee on you, but because a few of my songs are already licensed out to projects that make it a little more challenging to hand them out. this is mostly applicable if you're making rpgmaker games you don't intend on selling

if you want to use a Ri47 song in your small-scale commercial project... if you're making a promo video for a stream, need music for a podcast, or anything like that, contact me first. in almost every case, as long as what you're making isn't a persistent standalone work (read: something you are selling directly, with my music as part of the package) the most I'll usually ask is that you buy one copy of the album

if you want to use a Ri47 song in a more serious commercial project... you can contact me directly to get a licence. I usually don't work on royalties unless you are selling a product that I'd consider "reselling" my work (read: an OST album or other primarily audio-based product) and I'm happy to work with people to find a deal that works for them

if you want to use a Ri47 song in a project that is intended to raise funds for a not-for-profit charity, especially in providing aid to Palestine… the freeware conditions apply. let me know about your plans beforehand, because I almost certainly want to be more directly involved, but there are very few cases where I would say no to this sort of thing

if you need original music or sound design done by Ri47... I'm booked out about a year or so in advance, so I can't promise I can actually join a team actively, but this is extremely contextual. if you need some UI sounds or a handful of piano pieces to feature in a project, I'm much more likely to find time for that

if you want me to feature on an album or compilation, whether that be contributing a song or remixing one that you provide… contact me and let's talk. this one's the most complicated conditions-wise, but I don't bite

the bottom line being... I work within all budgets and project scopes. even if you think the answer is no, drop me a line and you might be surprised. if you're unsure, I'll happily help you figure out what exactly you need. it's easier than taxes!

[popponn]

hair and lovers. [aryu jyubei x f!reader]

notes: this is intended to be read with 0 braincell on kind of crack fic. nonetheless, i tried to make them disgustingly sweet. the only thing that ever came close to mortal danger is aryu's hair.

“I love you, but I’m sick of this,” you said, grimness lacing both your face and tone. A pair of grass scissors rest in your hand like a murder weapon-to-be.

Aryu Jyubei—who had been and shall be forever called Aryu so the bitch wouldn’t pull a hissy fit—your boyfriend, your roommate, and unfortunately probably your soulmate for life too, stared at you in horror. “My beloved?! What—”

You didn’t let him finish. “Shut up. Or I will kill you.”

Dramatically, in return, Aryu gasped, “Was it Itoshi Rin?!”

At that, somehow, your temper immediately went down. You blinked owlishly, confused at what did that statement mean and how it came to be. You gaped, “What? Huh? How come?”

In front of you, Aryu—still in pigtails, eye cover still on his forehead all while wearing the bright ‘#1 OSHA!!!!!’ magenta custom pajama Bachira Meguru once gave him as a birthday gift—dropped his ass to the ground and waxed a poetry about style, Itoshi Rin, betrayal, also something akin to hoes before bros. With the last part, whatever desire you had to listen to him immediately evaporate to the thin air.

“Forget it,” you began. “I will really end you.”

Aryu turned his face to you, flipping his hair like some shampoo brand ambassador in the process. Dramatically, again, he proclaimed, “My darling! What has come into you?!”

“Your hair and our ruined date photo that’s what,” you replied, approaching him in a casual and lax manner—that actually translated into a walk that was as menacing as Barou Shouhei when he entered the field in Aryu’s point of view.

At your answer, your boyfriend’s eyes widened. A flash of memories flooded his mind—your sour face after every outdoor date in the last three months, your bitter smile every time you stare into the photo album. Stylishly, he understood everything. The scissors in your hand was without a doubt a weapon to part him with his hair.

“Beloved!” Aryu shouted at you, both of his hands raising up as if it could stop you. Within his hearts, he steeled himself shall it came to no choice and he should use his athletic capabilities to defend his hair—

“Oh, it seems you get it!” you stopped at your tracks, three steps away from him. You smiled sweetly, as you continued, “Then, let’s get to the point. Either I cut it or we can just break up.”

Aryu didn’t steel himself for that.

“What?!” he exclaimed. Immediately, Aryu stood back to his full height. You, who had been living under the same roof with him for quite a while, didn’t flinch even for a second. But, then again, it was you who had a sharp tool in hand.

“What do you mean what,” you deadpanned, every trace of smile vanishing away from your face. A small part of Aryu’s heart shed a tear at such loss—however, it shall be a story for another time.

“My stylish hair is part of this stylish me!” Aryu cried out as his hands clasped itself on your shoulder. He brought his face closer to you, begging, “How could you even thought of such thing?!”

Almost instantly, your face turned into an expression that was both adorable and painful for Aryu’s heart—your eyes sparkled as tears welled up in them and your lips grew into a quivering line. “I want a nice photo with you!” you cried back at him, your gaze thrown away from his. “And I’m your girlfriend! Is that so much to ask for?!”

A part of Aryu wilted at your question. To think he had become a man who made such thoughts exist within you. “Oh, my Dear…” he trailed off.

You ignored Aryu, expressing everything you had withheld within your heart for months. “I know you like your hair—but, it keeps hitting me! Sometimes it get in my mouth! Also, aren’t you a footballer?! It isn’t normal to have hair that long! And also, you spent so much time—”

“My beloved,” Aryu cut you off. Smoothly, his hands grasped both of yours as he dropped down to the floor, this time propping himself up with one knee. Gently, he took away the big scissors in your hand and put it as far as his hands would allow.

Feeling the tender stroke on the back of your palm, you finally let yourself meet his eyes again. Aryu looked at you with a determination as he once again opened his mouth, “Forgive me for making you feel in such unstylish way. However, I cannot let you, who I love, part this stylish me away from my stylish strands.”

At those words, you looked like you were about to cry. Without wasting a beat, Aryu continued quickly, unwilling to let even a drop of tear away from your eyes, “That’s why—let me propose to you a deal.”

You blinked at that, confused. Aryu silently cooed at that action, but nonetheless he had an important thing to do. Aryu slowly grabbed a part of his long hair and put it in your hand, entrapping them in between your fingers and his and Aryu knew he had made the right call.

“My beloved, from this day onwards,” he began, eyes never leaving yours. “Would you do me the honor of styling my hair to your heart contents, for every day, every time I will walk away from this house, whether it will be with your hand in mine or not?”

As Aryu finished his proposal, never once did the confusion leave your face. From the outside, as the daylight seeps from the window, Aryu could hear three series of chirping before suddenly the sound of your laugh broke out.

“Seriously?!” you tried to say in between your chortle. Aryu tried not to melt at the sight. It was both stylish and beautiful. Then, as you looked down at him and tightened your fingers around Aryu’s hair and fingers, you smiled—this time brightly and stylishly, “Sure, why not?”

Indeed, Aryu was a very happy man who did not made any wrong choice at that time.

[rolandrockover]

Kover It Up Vol. 5 - New York Groove

Hello, Russ Ballard, Kiss. As soon as one even mentally pronounces this chain of associations, the bell should ring for every halfway educated Kissalomaniac that one is dealing with a definitive key figure for Kiss kover songs. Songs that were written by Russ Ballard, and that Kiss or their closer associates have reinterpreted and recorded, mind you.

All in all, this has resulted in a total of five tracks (1), respectively two of which Ace has tackled more or less on his own. And today, of course, we want to talk about the very first one, namely nothing other than New York Groove from Ace's first solo album from 1978 (2). And as is well known, it was Eddie Kramer who persuaded Ace to cover this song, which the latter will probably have learned to appreciate over time.

But let's get down to business.

Hello's version of this NY vision sounds a little as if Chris Norman, in his best Smokie days, had been forced by strict medical prescription to spare his vocal chords as much as possible and not to sing but only to whisper. Such an idiosyncratic decision lends the music a determinedly passive, but nonetheless equally commanding and energetic effect, which is only reinforced by the unusually light, but all the more confident harmonic flow of the background chorus, pushing itself rhythmically into the mix and taking the song to a higher level overall.

What Ace and Eddie cooked up together for their part doesn't sound that dissimilar at all. They certainly didn't reinvent the song (as one could later claim of 2000 Man), and which Eddie Kramer definitely didn't set out to do, but made it just a bit more straightforward and, above all, designed it all around Ace. And that's exactly the key, an emotionally intelligent focus on Ace, his voice, and his person, because that's what this is all about here: The humanization of a rock n' roll alien from the craziest rock band in the world to that point.

The guitars at the beginning are comfortably reminiscent of a quirky Swedish children's television series from the 70s (3) and create, at least in me, a warm-hearted and positively charged energy that, thanks to Ace's charm, doesn't intend to get lost again throughout the entire song. His imperfect voice sounds somewhat tight, thanks to doubling and whatever studio gimmick, and saturated enough, and at the same time left with enough room to be nothing but himself, which brings song and mood to life, and even works to his advantage lead vocally. Is there anyone else here besides me who is also reminded of Peter Criss and Beth? I mean in principle.

Be that as it may, to conclude with a brief mention of Ace's solo playing. Its production seems surprisingly thin and used just as sparingly, but staged in an all the more lively manner, which really puts the finishing touches to this simple but equally gorgeous piece of good-feeling music. And here it is, an urban anthem for the people to believe in, presented by a true New Yorker for all New Yorkers, and of course everyone else too.

More authentic than the original.

Side Note:

(1) New York Groove on Ace Frehley (1978), Some Kinda Hurricane and Let Me Rock You on Peter Criss' eponymous Let Me Rock You (1982), Into the Night from Frehley's Comet's debut (1987), and last but not least Kiss' real last smash God Gave Rock n' Roll to You II (1991).

(2) Incidentally, I have no idea whether the Ace and Peter songs from the 80s are actual cover versions or just purchased tracks without a previous release. I just threw it out there because it fits so well, and what do you do for a halfway successful introduction?

(3) Karlson on the Roof (1974) by Astrid Lindgren.

New York Groove (1975)

New York Groove (1978)

[foxes-that-run]

Need - Unreleased

What I need is a studio release of that song. I love the way it sounds like a metronome, it's so pensive. In it, Taylor is not over a muse and feeling drawn to them. A demo of it was leaked 1 March 2023, it's thought to be from Lover.

'What would Taylor have cut this for?'

It has some wordplay that is similar to False God and I think he knows, but not so similar I would cut it. Lover was her first album with Republic. Taylor said they told her "Whatever you turn in, we will be proud to put out. We give you 100% creative freedom and trust." The result is that Lover's Deluxe has 20 tracks and is 71 minutes long vs Reputation with 15 tracks, 56 minutes. So, it seems more likely that is where it was cut.

I could see it being cut for being too similar to Delicate and Gorgeous, vocals are distorted in places like Delicate, the beat is similar to Gorgeous, all three are about a hook up with an ex that they are not over. Dress is also similar.

It could have been considered for both like New Years Day.

Lyrics

Want is the cigarette smoke on a jacket You wore to the wrong part of town Desire is the sound of the whiskey Telling me you miss me Can you come around?

The first verse is similar to a scene in Delicate "Dive bar on the East Side, where you at? Phone lights up my nightstand in the black Come here; you can meet me in the back"

Taylor is singing about an ex that she and this person are not over. The muse misses her and can they come around. Whisky plays a role with not not being in Gorgeous too "Whiskey on ice, Sunset and Vine, you’ve ruined my life by not being mine"

When the muse arrives he smells like smoke from a bar, Taylor doesn't smoke, in Slut! is similar "Adorned with smoke on my clothes, lovelorn and nobody knows" I think wanting a unpleasant smell is that it permeates and lingers like cigarette smoke on clothes.

Passion is a passing thing It's accidental chemistry Lust is a liar, a short-lived fire It ain't what you and I are at all

In the pre-chorus Taylor outlines that her connection to this muse is lasting, it's more than lust, desire or was intended.

'Accidental Chemistry' reminds me of Suburban Legends where Taylor said "I didn't come here to make friends" meaning Taylor did not intend to fall in love but did. A similar idea that something that should be over but isn't is in the Lakes "What should be over burrowed under my skin".

Oh, It's a need, it's a need I would go anywhere that you lead

The chorus is similar to Lover - "Can I go where you go?" and Treacherous "And I'll do anything you say / If you say it with your hands" and I think he knows "I think he knows his footprints / On the sidewalk / Lead to where I can't stop / Go there every night"

I am hopeless, breathless, burning slow

This lyric tells of how important having this person is to Taylor. She has described being breathless about love a few times:

Blank Space: It’ll leave you breathless or with a nasty scar

Labyrinth: Breathe in, breathe through, breathe deep, breathe out

Paris: I’m so in love that I might stop breathing

Evermore: And I was catching my breath

Betty: When I passed your house, it’s like I couldn’t breathe

Touch me, hold me, tell me, " I won't let you go I won't leave, it's a need"

I won't let you go is similar to:

Miss Americana And The Heartbreak Prince: "And I’ll never let you go"

End Game: "And I can’t let you go, your hand prints on my soul"

King of my heart "And all at once, you’re all I want, I’ll never let you go"

Afterglow: "Just wanna lift you up and not let you go"

I won't leave is similar to the theme of Staying:

All you had to do was stay

Treacherous: "I hear the sound of my own voice asking you to stay"

Renegade "There was nowhere for me to stay, but I stayed anyway."

Delicate: "Stay here, honey, I don’t wanna share"

New Year’s Day: "But I stay when you’re lost and I’m scared and you’re turning away"

The Archer: "Who could stay, you could stay"

Right Where You Left Me: "Everybody moved on, I stayed there"

Danger is a thousand prickles on my neck That tell me to run or to freeze Fear is the nightmare I had You were with someone else You forgot about me

The idea of likening love to danger and continuing on is also in Treacherous "And I'd be smart to walk away / But you're quicksand / This slope is treacherous / This path is reckless"

Taylor wanted to run and also stay in I Wish You Would: "Makes you wanna run and hide, then it makes you turn right back around"

Nightmare has only appeared in Blank Space "Darling, I’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream”, but this particular one is also in Hits Different "I pictured you with other girls in love / Then threw up on the street"

In Wildest Dreams Taylor asked her muse to remember, "Say you’ll remember me standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset, babe" Here, her muse not remembering is the nightmare.

Baby, it's always a new kiss Every time we do this The truth is It's essential to me That you love me More than wishing, longing

'Everytime we do this' refers to the cyclical nature of their relationship:

Style: And when we go crashing down we come back every time

Blank Space: "But you’ll come back each time you leave"

Out Of The Woods: "We were built to fall apart, then fall back together"

[badwolfwho1]

It's halfway through the year? Got any favorite albums/books/tv shows/whatever to recommend?

So for the first time I have actually been keeping a spreadsheet with the intent of ranking all the things this year to keep track of what I've read/watched etc and not rely on my memory so in theory this should be easy but in truth I've only been updating it for movies and books so I will have to rely on my memory after all.

Albums

I do not keep track of the albums I've been listening but I have been listening to Avantasia's discography lately and it's all been hitting for me, I think the Wicked Symphony especially was my favourite of their work.

I also listened to The Moody Blues' 'Days of Future Passed' just today so I'll mention that as well, I enjoyed it. (I fully intended to come back here and write some more later but I guess I didn't, it's neat I guess)

Judging based off my liked songs on Spotify I really liked most of Deep Purple's album 'House of Blue Light' and both of Savage Garden's albums.

For a perennial I still love The Bangles' third album "Everything", my first listen I had a few standouts like "In Your Room", "Be With You", "Something to Believe In" but I currently adore pretty much every track on there.

Have I listened to much modern this year? Alas no I am cursed by most of my current listening habits coming from deciding to check out whatever is being referenced in the current episode of Jojo that I'm rewatching and since I just reached Part 5 that means at best they'll be 25 years old.

Books

I've actually kept track of my books so this should be easy, 'Catch 22'; It's a classic for a reason, it's just really really good.

The Adrian Tchaikovsky zone; I read 'City of Last Chances', its sequel 'House of Open Wounds' and the final part of the Final Architecture trilogy 'Lords of Uncreation' this year, all phenomenal (2, 3 and 4 on my books of the year list), City of Last Chances slightly pips the others (and as the opener to a series is the easiest rec). You get a huge and diverse range of points of view all over a city under imperial occupation, great worldbuilding as I always expect from him. There's even a giant centipede what more can you ask for? (I'm also reading his Alien Clay right now, that's a stand alone novel starring a scientist exiled to a work camp on another planet because of his political activism, real good so far, love all the weird alien life it has. It'll probably be joining the Tchaikovsky zone unsure where at though yet)

Oh I've just noticed Bret Hart's biography isn't on my list so I gotta say "Hitman", incredible. The life of a wrestler is wild and Bret Hart especially has had quite the life. So much I didn't know about. The best there is, the best there was and the best there ever will be (but not the best on my list).

The rest of my top ten, CL Clarke's 'The Unbroken' and 'The Faithless', Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone's 'This is How You Lose the Time War', AK Larkwood's 'The Ten Thousand Eyes' and Garth Marenghi's Terrortome

Games

I feel like I've barely played any games this year. Slay the Spire is still the only Roguelike you'll ever need. I'll be replaying Slay the Princess when Pristine Cut comes out later this year so I'll throw that in here, that's an incredible horror visual novel, tons of branching paths, all voice acted to perfection. I'm in the middle of a Freedom Planet replay, so if you like classic 2D Sonic games this is a really good Soniclike

(Me from after I wrote all this) Oh yeah Hades II exists and I somehow forgot about it I have no idea how that happened. Yeah Supergiant (I always have to double check that in case I write Supermassive) always hits, every single one of their games is gold, Hades II continues that trend. It might still be Early Access but it quite comfortably surpasses release Hades I in content so I am incredibly excited to see how it grows.

Movies

Number 1 at my list is Godzilla Minus One, it's so good, I watched it last year, I watched it this year I'll probably watch it again in the Minus Colour version. I'm a Godzilla mark (I still have at least some objectivity Godzilla x Kong sitting at 12 hasn't even broken into my top 10, wait Oppenheimer isn't on here probably 13 then) and while I've definitely not even nearly seen of all Godzilla's filmography I think this is him comfortably at his best. As in all of his best films as a metaphor as well as a giant radioactive dinosaur.

I watched Rashomon the other day and it feels like a real basic thing to say but yeah Rashomon's really good, as with Catch-22 it's a classic for a reason. Not good enough to surpass a radioactive dinosaur apparently but what can?

And my number three on my list, Asteroid City, great framing device, great set design. Just a genuinely fascinating movie, had complete hold of my interest at all times.

The rest of my top ten in order The Banshees of Inisherin, Monster, Speed, The Menu, Happy Death Day, Scream, Scream 2 (Maybe Happy Death Day should be lower than the Screams actually) Oppenheimer is probably going to land somewhere in that top 10 as well.

TV

Delicious in Dungeon is good, everyone knows Delicious in Dungeon is good, everyone's watching it. World building, funny, great cast its all there, I should read the manga some time. I should definitely read more manga in general.

I've also watched The 8 Show, a Korean Drama show. Eight strangers are offered a chance to participate in a psuedo game show where they live on eight seperate floors and are paid money for the length of time the show goes on. The ones living on the lower floors earn less money and the ones on the higher ones earn more. (Shockingly it's a metaphor for capitalism). Things fairly rapidly degenerate. You'll obviously think of Squid Game watching this and its not as good as Squid Game but its still pretty good.

And obvs you know I'm still on that Buffy watch, on the cusp of finishing Series 6 of Buffy, the most frustrating so far in that it has some good ideas dragged down by a number of terrible decisions; magic becoming a metaphor for drugs, having to see those three nerds on screen frequently, that death etc etc.

Oh yeah I'm watching the Acolyte, I'm not gonna say its great but like its shockingly decent. Falls far short of Andor but aside from that its probably one of the best Star Wars shows they've made. If you like Star Wars this is one of the better shows to check out.

(Somehow I forgot I watched all of Hacks this year!?!?!?!) Great stuff, love those two. Hope they continue to be weird about each other forever.

Other

I'd love to rec a manga but I cantinue to only read two manga which are Hajime no Ippo and Jojo and they're both over 30 years old and still going and I cannot recommend something that long. Last time I mentioned Ippo was like at least six months ago I think I said it was slowly moving towards a conclusion it has moved no closer to a conclusion since then I think it's gonna be another decade. I still love it my favourite character is probably going to have his character arc finished by the end of the current arc, Mashiba's is going to become world champion, he is going to be respected rather than just feared, he's going to have friends, he is going to defeat the personification of the dirty boxing style that carried him through most of his career and he's going to stop being so overprotective over his sister. Either that or he'll get injured and have to retire from boxing forever in a karmic callback to his original sin in boxing when he broke Miyata's foot like thirtyodd years ago. Hopefully the first one.

[formulatrash]

thoughts on jacques villeneuve? I know almost nothing about the guy but he irks me everytime he appears on camera in wec or f1. This is solely based on vibes though, I'm waiting for your (def more qualified) opinion

oh this is a fun one. where do we start.

so, firstly: nepo baby. one of the og nepo babies, like Damon Hill and neither ascended to the heights of their dads' careers but then, maybe their dads wouldn't have in modern machinery etc and every era of F1 is distinct.

anyway. Jacques Villeneuve is an uhhhhhh divisive character due to having a disease many of us suffer from called Can't Shut The Fuck Up. sometimes this is Very Annoying and sometimes it is the funniest thing in the entire world, so who's to say what's good or bad.

he was a good F1 driver and he won his title on merit. he was also a dickhead on and off track throughout his career.

ever since then, he's been doing little bits with varying degrees of how funny he either a) intended them to be and b) actually are. making a really terrible album? go off, king, it's your art. turning up in Formula E, looking utterly confused for two races and fucking off? mixed results. talking trash 24/7 until Max Verstappen accuses Nico Rosberg of being the new version of you in a surprisingly apt former Williams driver who is nepo baby comparison that he may or may not have intended? on balance, iconic. taking up sim racing in lockdown because didn't all of us but refusing to make himself into an idiot with a proper rig and sitting at the kitchen table using a Playstation controller? life your life, girl.

so yeah, he's equal parts incredibly annoying and entertaining and to be fair, there should be more of that.

[ohdorothea]

Aaaand we’re back to the rankings!!!! Now we’re on Lover and I couldn’t be bothered posting as I was listening so you’re getting one big post for Lover

1 - I Forgot That You Existed

The opening notes of this song is instant happiness for me. I remember hearing those notes when I first listened to Lover and I could just tell the music from Lover would be so different that the music that came before. I love this song and I think it’s a great opener for the album to come. If I am being very picky for the sake of ranking I do wish there were more layers to the production/the vocals. 12/13

2 - Cruel Summer

I’ve said it before I’ll say again: Taylor is the queen of tragic bops and god this may be the most tragic and the boppiest. What I love about this song is how many different ways people interpret the story, it’s really fun and I love a song that can mean so many different things to different people. An easy 13/13

3 - Lover

An instant classic for me. A song that really showcases her talent as a song writer I think. Beautiful gorgeous ect ect 12/13

4 - The Man

I have historically been a The Man hater but I listened to it for the ranking…. And I had fun?? I enjoyed myself? I DIDN’T HATE IT? What is happening!!!!! This is very confusing for me but if I take it in the spirit I believe (hope) it was intended (camp) it’s actually pretty fun. What’s going on!!!! 8/13

5 - The Archer

One of my favourite Taylor songs ever. I nearly burst into tears the first time I heard it. What a special song. She has 130/13 in my heart but for the ranking an easy 13/13

6 - I Think He Knows

I WANT YOU! BLESS MY SOUL! I WANT YOU! BLESS MY SOUL!!!

WHAT A BOP!!! This song should have been in the Lover set!!!!! It would have been so fun. But regardless this is as 13/13

7 - Miss Americana and The Heartbreak Prince

This song is sooooo cinematic!!!! I would have loved to see what she would have done for a music video for this song because it’s just sooo atmospheric!!! And I love love love the bridge with the cheerleader shouts!!!! It’s so fun and tragic and sad and hopeful all the same time!!!!! 13/13

8 - Paper Rings

One of my favourite love songs from Taylor ever. I will be dancing to this at my wedding!!! So fun so full of love and I’m in love with the production. A super easy 13/13 for me!!!

9 - Cornelia Street

BABY IM SO TERRIFIED!!! THAT IF YOU EVER WALK AWAY!!!! ID NEVER WALK CORNELIA STREET AGAIN!!!!!!!!

She really has it all. Perfect song 13/13

10 - Death By A Thousand Cuts

If I loved this song less I could talk about it more. 13/13

11 - London Boy

London Boy of Pubwe fame!!! This is a very silly fun song, it does not live up to the songs before it but that’s a pretty high bar! 8/13

12 - Soon You’ll Get Better

I’ve seen people make fun of this part of the Lover track listing but the thing is this is unfortunately how grief works!! It is sandwiched between love and fun and lust and make ups and break ups!!! It’s how it goes so this part of the tracklist actually makes so much sense to me even if it is a knife to the heart. I don’t listen to this often for obvious reasons but it is a perfect song for me. 13/13

13 - False God

Didn’t even write anything down because I was just in heaven for 3 minutes and 20 seconds. It’s a perfect song!!!!!!!!!!! I love this sound from Taylor and my god I hope she revisit’s it in the future but we will always have the alter is my hips. 13/13

14 - You Need To Calm Down

This song is soooooo hard to rate. Because the music video!!!! Shade never made anyone less gay!!! The badly dyed hair!!!! Iconic!!! But as a song I don’t enjoy listening to it very much! I would probably have a lot of fun singing along to it live!!! But as it is 6/13

15 - Afterglow

HEY!!!!! IT’S ALL ME!!!! IN MY HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think this was my first favourite song from the whole album. I love it so much!!! I love the production I love the writing I love her vocal performance!!! It still holds up all these years later! 13/13

16 - ME!

I am a ME! lover!!! But I do have the dock points for 1. That Man 2. The use of lame 3. Taking out the Spelling Is Fun! part of the pre chorus! So with all of that said this is a 10/13

17 - It’s Nice To Have A Friend

Perfect song argue with the wall it has 130/13 in my heart but for the purpose of the ranking 13/13

18 - Daylight

I have historically been a bit of a Daylight hater but I don’t know what’s happening today cause I loved it. Lover the album you are!!! 12/13

[soonie-doongie-and-dori]

Rock-star thoughts

Ok, so. Rockstar came out. And it was, as expected, awesome. I have so many thoughts about the comeback, a lot of which are *incoherent screaming*. But, I also wanted to write about what I thought of the songs overall. So, enjoy the word vomit <3

Megaverse

I've said it once, I'll say it again; the first tracks on skz albums always go HARD.

Absolutely in love with the beginning- Felix singing in french, and I'm in love with Bangchan's verse, it reminds me of the 'break the wall' ateez fanchant for some reason

This is the ultimate hype song, very much following in the footsteps of it's predecessor Hall of Fame

Lalalala

This title track ROCKED (pun intended)

Often, I find that I like the b-sides of skz albums far more than the title track; which really frustrates me, but Lalalala did NOT disappoint. It is the epitome of what a title track should be, since it represents skz so well; unapologetically loud and fun

I absolutely love the wordplay in this album; La means happiness but it also sounds like rock buts it's also la in the sense of lalala. I'm an absolute sucker for wordplay, and this made me feel so happy.

Another hype song, it embodies it's message so well; even though negative emotions exist, joy always comes out on top

I loved the pirate concept of the mv, but I would have absolutely lost my shit if the mv was an actual rock star concept. But pirate skz is also pretty cool

Blind Spot

Our genius Quokka did it again guys

But seriously, I'm absolutely in love with this song. It's my favourite, I'm absolutely addicted to it

This song is Mixtape 2/Behind the Light pt 2. I can't explain myself, it just is. (If you don't remember it, go listen to it!! fr one of the most underrated skz songs)

Bloody hell, I love "Shining, we are the champions,Trying to make a difference" It's truly so good

The opening instrumentals are NO JOKE, they're short but they are so vital to the song

I also love the imagery of a 'Blind Spot' in the song, like it's a part of them that we don't see. I really want to write an entire essay on this song. I might.

Comflex

WORDPLAY AGAIN, 3racha are fucking genius

It's exactly what it says on the label, a(nother) hype song, this one about embracing your flaws & insecurities and being proud of them

It's a self love song, in the most skz way possible. Reminds me of the meme of someone yelling 'HYDRATE OR DIEDRATE' while throwing water bottles at people

If Youtiful was skz telling us that they love us, Comflex is skz screaming at us to love ourselves

Flex your complexes guys!

Cover Me

When I first saw the credits for this song, I screamed a little. I've been waiting for a song written by Hyunjin since he talked about getting into songwriting in the 5-star intro. I was so disappointed when I saw that none of the 5-star songs had Hyunjin as a writer, because I was so sure that one would be there, and then I forgot all about it, so Cover Me hit me like a brick to the face

This song quite literally feels like a warm blanket covering you

Something I found really interesting; I'm usually pretty good at figuring out who is singing when, but damn did this song stump me. It's probably because it was a mainly vocal song, unlike most of skz's songs, but it's still interesting

In a similar vein, FELIX USED HIS MIDDLE REGISTER! Don't get me wrong, I love Felix's deep voice as much as the next simp, but I loved Deep end because it gave Felix a chance to explore range other than the deep voice he always gets handed in songs. I was praying for some songs to allow Felix to use his mid-upper range and I was hopeful when I saw the intro, and Cover Me delivered. I love Hyunjin so much for this

Leave

Skz's latest break up song! Reminds me of Ex

Being honest, I didn't find much special about this song, but it is genuinely a pretty good song

But, the angst is quite nice and it's an excellent song to sob to

Overall

Skz just outdoes themselves every time. I'd describe this album as very evenly split between Head-banging hype songs and ugly crying songs. If they'd have swapped Blind Spot and Comflex, the album would literally be 3 songs of pure hype followed by 3 songs that you're sobbing to. Skz continues to display their range by giving us whiplash with every album. I'm so, so in love with this comeback. The rock ver of lalalala was also a pure genius idea, it brings the album together so well, and it's just plain fun

[louise-ella]

A review of "Good Riddance" by Gracie Abrams!

I discovered Gracie Abrams a year after her ‘Minor’ (2020) EP release. My original favorites were “I Miss You, I’m Sorry” and “Brush Fire”, but the rest of her songs stockpiled so well that those are now ancient history to me. What struck me about her initially was the brutal honesty of her lyrics.

True to what Abrams told listeners prior to the ‘Good Riddance’ release, I listened to the album for the first time in the tracklist order with earbuds in. I was also in Honolulu that night, so I sat on a balcony and stared at the skyline. A year and a half later, here’s what I think.

This album commits to representing anxiety in leaving someone and leaves few crumbs. Abrams talks about doubt, fear of restarting, navigating nostalgia, FOMO, guilt, and the harsh realization that it’s time to go. Many choruses in this album (“Best”, “Where do we go now?”, “Amelie”, “I Should Hate You”) are the hook repeated, symbolizing the incessant repetition of anxiety. For the first 10 tracks, she’s mostly talking about breakups and fear, and in the last two tracks, she is fully immersed in a new love, that in “The blue” she states, “came out of the blue”, explaining the abrupt mood change.

Abrams pictured on the album cover

“Best”: Abrams said in an article before the release that this is one of her favorites on the album. It’s somewhere in my top 5. My initial impression was that it reminded me of ‘Folklore’ by Taylor Swift. ‘Good Riddance’ was produced by Aaron Dessner, so this makes sense, but I would’ve noticed this whether I knew that or not. This song was gut punch after gut punch. I could’ve been out at “when I could come to life I didn’t”, but “you fell hard, I thought ‘good riddance’” was the first line that truly killed me. She made me feel like I had commitment issues.

The entire chorus of “Best” is “I never was the best to you” repeatedly. In the bridge she beats herself up, singing, “I feel terrible ‘bout how I handled it” and “I’m alone, sitting here, staying home/all of my self-control kind of got difficult, but I deserve it, though.”

I appreciate the accountability in the song, as well as the feeling of released tension that I bet came with writing and releasing it. As a songwriter, I’ll write 30 songs about how upset I am with someone, but it only feels useful once I’ve finally made one apologizing or taking accountability for my own end of the spectrum.

The lyric that makes me feel the most seen (the most valuable part of a song for me): “Go ahead, we can just call it conditioning”

“I Know It Won’t Work”: This is another favorite of mine! Partially because it’s the one that blew up, which I always get some excitement from on behalf of the artist.

Firstly, I love the intro. I have no idea what it was meant to intend, but to me, it feels like the line “You’re a flashback in a film reel” from Taylor Swift’s “This Is Me Trying” (2020). It feels like a flashback in time, and that’s particularly because of the hook “Part of me wants you back, but I know it won’t work like that”.

This song helps build up the idea of this album being mostly about a long-term relationship ending. She sings “It’s a lot/the shine of half a decade fading”.

Another motif throughout this album is lyrics about the awkward moments when you know something is over but aren’t ready to say it – so you just lie even though you know it only makes it worse. Some of my favorite instances of that include – in this song – “in case this year, I come back and stay throughout my 20s/what if I won’t? How am I supposed to put that gently?”, “I hate to look at your face and know that we’re feeling different”, and “I’m thinking everything you wish I wasn’t/the call was tough, but you’re better off/I’m being honest/so won’t you stop holding out for me when I don’t want it?” In other songs “You look hopeful like we’re supposed to work somehow/can’t you tell our light burned out?” (“Where Do We Go Now?”)

I don't love the two verses at the start of the song. I think there are great lyrics in both verses, but by the time the chorus comes, I’m a little bored. Nonetheless, my disliking of this is small, and I think both verses are very well written.

The lyric that makes me feel the most seen: “I’m thinking everything you wish I wasn’t”

“Full Machine”: this one is probably my favorite on the album. It’s full of somewhat submissive lines, but she writes them from a place of control. She sings, “Say something nice to me/and you don’t have to mean it” but also “I’m a shameless caller”, using the word “shameless” to change the meaning. I adore juxtaposing lyrics. She isn’t saying “I would die for you and I’m so sad you left me”. She isn’t saying “You better know who you just lost, screw you”. She’s saying, “I hope you know who you lost because it means a lot that someone is so devastated that you’re no longer in their life”.

The lyric that makes me feel the most seen: “It’s just that I’ll always choose you”

“Where Do We Go Now?”: When I say I fell in love with this song when it came out, I mean it. I love how she references specific places – “24th street, where you held me, grabbed my arm”. I love how she expresses feeling like her trying was never noticed – “You don’t know how hard I tried/had to fake the longest time” and “What a brutal way to die, but you choose it every time”. Then, she shows that she too wasn’t perfect – “We had no control when it fell through/it was one-sided, hate how I hurt you”. Meanwhile, the instrumental feels timeless and is never too overwhelming or underwhelming.

I just need a moment to acknowledge the bridge. The long schpeel ending in “but I miss you”. I heard that for the first time and I was like, this song is perfect.

The lyric that makes me feel the most seen: “You look hopeful, like we’re supposed to work somehow”

“I Should Hate You”: “I Should Hate You” would be my favorite if it didn’t make me feel physically unwell. I’m looping these songs while writing this, and even two sentences in, I’m pausing because of instrumentals that put a pit in my stomach. Over the acoustic guitar, there’s a whistling instrument that reminds me of how the intro to “I Know It Won’t Work” makes me feel. This song feels like when you’re so exhausted that you feel like you will never sleep. It gives me the feeling that one day something that is so important to you now will mean absolutely nothing anymore, and even if that is what you want to happen, it still feels wrong. You begin to think “I should hate you because you were so important to me, but I realize now how much you really messed with my head”.

This also reminds me of “Full Machine”, in which she sings “if you asked me to run away, I’d go easily”. In the second verse of “I Should Hate You”, she sings “I just drank something strong to try to forget, but it wasn’t right” – saying she does things that she knows are bad for her just to let go of someone. To add meaning to that, she sings in the first verse “I wasted my breath when I tried to console you, didn’t I?” She yet again appears submissive, but also fully aware of how she needs to let go of her sadness and be mad. This is a very powerful thing to do in writing. Finally, perhaps the best part of the entire song is the bridge.

The lyric that makes me feel the most seen: “I feel stupid like I almost crashed my car driving home to talk about you at my table in the dark” (never actually gotten close to this happening but I've had this feeling for so long and was shocked to hear it in a song)

“Will You Cry?”: This song has a few standout lines for me. My personal favorite is the set of lyrics “It’s kind of funny when it goes from all to nothing/you have to laugh before you start to cry/cause now I stop myself from holding onto something that makes me feel a little less alive”.

However, that's basically the only part of the song I like. I can’t figure out what this song is about, and I don’t like anything about it enough to really want to figure it out. I think the melody is beautiful, but it feels like a melody I would’ve written when I was 13 (not meant as a diss at all, I wrote plenty of songs I love to this day at 13), so it annoys me a little but otherwise just makes me feel nothing.

The lyric that makes me feel the most seen: “I don’t follow, I don’t want to"

“Amelie”: This song, prior to its release, was highly anticipated by Abrams’ fandom. She played it on her 2022 tour for her second EP, "This Is What It Feels Like" (2021) on piano, and many people loved it. However, Abrams is one of the few artists who I don't care much about the unreleased songs of. When I heard this song upon its release, the lyrics were the only things even remotely keeping it going for me. That was until I heard the interpretation that it was about her past self. Now when I listen, I imagine that I'm trying to figure out what caused someone (be it myself or someone else) to become someone they aren't anymore.

The lyric that makes me feel the most seen: "She had her hair up, she cried about her obsessions" (literally me in 2019)

“Difficult”: This song is really cool to me because the chorus moves the way a good cry does. The song feels like you’re crying while on a freeway full of small potholes. I love the spinning feeling of the chorus and how she lowers her voice on certain lines in the verses. The song details how she feels like her lack of mental well-being is breaking a relationship apart, and she wishes she could fix it, but it feels like a part of her.

The lyric that makes me feel the most seen: "I hope I wake up invisible" (so simple but so, so real)

“This is what the drugs are for”: this is one of the only unreleased songs I’d hoped would appear on this album. She posted it on TikTok in 2021, and I was immediately struck by the line “What am I supposed to do when you used to be my lifeline?”

While this song, like “I Should Hate You”, is a little too sad for me to listen to, there are a couple things I adore about it. This song seems to be about a relationship that’s been officially over for a while, but she’s beginning to realize moving on won’t be so simple. She expresses this with lines like “Now I feel you in my room, haven’t seen you in a lifetime”, “I’ve counted all the days since you walked away”, and “Though I’ve tried, I can’t pretend that I don’t sit around and think about you”.

The lyric that makes me feel the most seen: "She appears in dreams chasing after me"

“Fault Line”: I was excited to hear this song when it first came out because I’d seen a friend of Abrams' saying it was her favorite song ever. I initially thought it was fine. It felt like a combination of the topics of “I Know it Won’t Work”, “Will you cry?”, and “Difficult”. She describes the feeling of being aware something might not work out, being okay (I think?) with leaving, and feeling like her judgment is bad. I kept waiting for something in the song. I hoped during its four minutes that it would have some cool beat drop or a key change but to no avail. Luckily, it has since grown on me.

The lyric that makes me feel the most seen: "Most nights I will pretend I left this sooner"

“The blue”: I saw on Twitter before the album release that there was one love song on the album and that it was the one you’d expect the least. That proved true. After all the breakup songs on this album, it shocked me a little, given that I’d become a little emotionally attached to her sadness (which is partially the point and partially not the point, I guess.) Because this song confused me given the sheer sad power of the rest of the album, it took a moment to get my head around it. But once I did, I began to love it. The part of the song that I felt really gave it life was the line “What are you doing to me now?” The lack of trust helped its spot on the album make more sense. She’s falling shamelessly in love with someone and provides enough parallels to the rest of the record for this song to fit into its puzzle.

The lyric that makes me feel the most seen: "I kind of think you should just drop it all and call me" (such a Taylor Swift thing to say)

“Right now”: This is a really beautiful ending to the album. Abrams is still unsure, but she expresses the same confidence as the rest of the album. Going from, “I was bored out my mind/lost my whole appetite/when I could come to life I didn’t” to “I feel like myself right now” is the journey of the record.

The lyric that makes me feel the most seen: "Look at me, I feel homesick/want my dog in the door" (this plays in my head every time I leave my city)

I'm very excited to see what will happen now that Abrams' sophomore album, "The Secret Of Us" is out. You can listen to both the standard version and the deluxe version (featuring "Block me out", "Unsteady", "405" and "Two people") on all streaming platforms.

Some lyrics I love that I didn’t mention in the review:

“you still tried to stay while I’d self-isolate/and I knew but I stayed hidden”

“now I bet you resent all of me, all of it, angry, blocking me over the internet”

“I know we cut all the ties but you’re never really leaving”

“I'm a forest fire, you're the kerosene/I had a life here before you and now it’s burning”

“when I kissed you back I lied”

“we could meet down the line after all of the time and give an actual try”

“guess the space was the thing that I needed, but I miss you”

“pulled the knife out my back, it was right where you left it/but you aimed kind of perfect, I’ll give you the credit”

“bet you’re doing alright and you don’t even know it”

“why’d it feel louder when all of it went unspoken?/all I can do is hope that this will go away”

“I meant to tell you how I hated how we left things when it feel through”

“I’ll break too, cracking at the same time, does it shock you?”

“you could go and I bet I’d recover overnight/finish hurting each other/you feel light years away, if I met you today/I would run to the arms of another”

“I know I’d let you in on all my bad decisions/you’d make them feel less terrible the second that you’d listen”

“this is somebody’s hometown”

[sanfangirl-cynicalromantic]

How You Get The Girl

In (late) honor of Taylor Swfit's version of 1989, I felt compelled to write a short fic inspired by one of my favorite songs from that album (all the songs are favorites).

Read on AO3 here

It had been two weeks, but whatever crap people spouted about being able to move on was a complete lie. He hid in his room - or more accurately, he hid in his awful generous cousin’s guest room, since his own apartment held too many reminders and before he had met Minden he had spent most of his time here anyway.

He stumbled downstairs, intending to steal the last carton of ice cream (again). He was pretty sure the only reason Astrid hadn’t come up to kick him out and kill him for continuously finishing off her ice cream was her fiancé keeping her at bay.

The rest of the gang were gathered in Hiccup’s living room talking quietly, which was unusual in itself, and everyone abruptly stopped talking as soon as he entered the room to get to the kitchen.

“Snotlout,” Hiccup greeted him with forced ease. “There you are. It’s, uh, it’s good to see you, um, out and about.”

“We were just talking about you,” admitted Fishlegs. Ruffnut threw an elbow into his substantial gut and he squeaked. “What?!”

“Actually, this is the perfect opportunity to talk. Why don’t you sit down?” Astrid suggested firmly. Her voice was honestly gentler than Snotlout would’ve expected, but there was still the threat of painful things to come if he didn’t obey.

“What’s up, Snotlout?” Heather asked. She was lounging on the couch with her boyfriend, Eret. “You’ve got us worried, honestly. We’ve never seen you down like this.”

Snotlout relented and collapsed into the last remaining armchair, hoping his dried tear tracks weren’t too obvious.

“I messed everything up,” he uttered despondently.

“I’m sure you did,” Ruffnut agreed. Then she frowned. “Wait, are we comforting you or saying it how it is?”

“What happened?” Hiccup addressed his cousin, ignoring Ruffnut. “I caught the part where you and Minden broke up, but I mean, why? You seemed really happy together, and no girl has ever stuck around this long. I thought you guys were kinda . . . it.” Snotlout stared stonily at the inch of space dangling between the floor and his heel. Damn Hiccup and Astrid and their long legs.

“You said you messed up,” Astrid remembered. “How’d you do that?”

“I guess it was kinda inevitable,” Snotlout spat bitterly. He spotted Hiccup’s thumb brushing absently over Astrid’s hands. The display of affection shot a pang straight through Snotlout, even though he hadn’t had physical closeness like that with Minden.

“I - I got scared,” he admitted. “I realized what she meant to me and - I wasn’t expecting it and then I freaked out because I’m, well, me,” - Ruff nodded solemnly in agreement - “and she’s, her so I pulled away and then I messed something she’d been working towards by forgetting about it and then she missed it and then when I called to apologize, she just yelled at me and hung up the phone. And then she blocked me. And when I went to her house to see her I found the door locked with my stuff in a box.” Normally, Snotlout was never this candid, but he was in a bad state, and it was strangely cathartic to spill all his woes onto others to share, even if they might judge him.

“Well, that sounds pretty final, mate,” Eret grimaced.

“Shut your mouth, Eret,” Snotlout groaned and let his head fall back against the chair.

“Shame,” Tuffnut interjected. “I totally thought she was the one a month ago.”

“She was the one,” Snotlout burst. “God, she’s - she is the one, guys. And I’ve lost her.”

“If she is the one, you should get her back. Are you gonna fight for her?” Astrid demanded.

“How would I do that?” Snotlout pouted.

“Grovel,” Hiccup offered. “Groveling does . . . it does wonders.” Astrid sniggered and leaned over to kiss his cheek.

“What does she like?” queried Fishlegs reasonably. “For example: Astrid is straightforward, so she appreciates getting straight to the point and groveling, as Hiccup put it.” Astrid crossed her arms and smirked in confirmation. “Heather likes big speeches followed by promises and presents.”

“Am I that easy!” Heather exclaimed, sitting up from under Eret’s arms slung around her shoulders. “Am I that easy?” she asked her boyfriend.

Eret grinned and pecked her temple. “Yes about all those things, but the speeches and presents are neither easy nor cheap.” Heather rolled her eyes.

“Guess you shouldn’t fight with me,” she said demurely.

“I like people to indenture themselves to me and do my bidding for a set amount of time after they apologize and grovel,” Ruffnut stated. Snotlout shuddered. Fishlegs also looked uneasy at that announcement. Snotlout had no idea how close those two were, but he wondered if it were too late for Fishlegs to back out.

“So what would she want?” Fishlegs stressed.

Snotlout cast his mind back through those four months. Blurs of fumbles and giggles. Shy smiles and mistakes. Doing each other’s nails and Mindy’s cooking. Snotlout showing her his embroidery. Her love of pink and silver and honey. Her showing him her extensive album collection.

“She likes that singer!” he remembered. “Taylor Swift. And she never sweetens her coffee with sugar, only honey, and she does yoga and shows me how to do her hair . . .”

“Oh man, you’ve got it bad, br;o,” Tuffnut chortled. “A girl that hot with taste? Pff, no way you deserve her, Snotman.” Ruffnut flicked her brother’s ear, hard. “Oww, what did I do?” he whined.

“I don’t deserve her,” repeated Snotlout despondently. Oh God, he knew that, but hearing it out loud was making everything worse and more real.

“That only means you have to fight twice as hard for her,” said Hiccup encouragingly. “It doesn’t mean you can’t try, especially if she’s the one.” Astrid smiled softly at her fiancé and nodded at his cousin.

“You’ll want to do a big gesture, like out of a movie,” Fishlegs counseled.

“She’s a Swiftie, right?” Heather checked, “Well, that’s just my department. There should be a song.”

“Excuse you,” cried Tuffnut, “but I am a Swiftie too.”

“But Heather knows this particular Swiftie in question best, other than Snotlout,” Astrid cut in.

“Yeah, I go to advanced yoga with her and her roommates,” Heather reminded them.

“Honestly, ‘Swiftie’ wise, Dagur would be the best option. He’s the most devoted to the whole - thing - than anyone,” Hiccup contemplated. Heather looked up from her phone and gasped in outrage.

“Astrid, smack him for me!” Her friend laughingly complied.

“Hey!”

“We’re all appreciators of Taylor Swift here,” Eret soothed.

“Okay, so I’m looking for a perfect song, but we need more of a plan,” Heather directed them back on track.

“Tuffnut has a boom box,” Ruffnut volunteered.

“Maybe write a speech?” Fishlegs suggested.

“Oh my God,” said Eret, looking over Heather's shoulder at her phone.

“Oh yes,” Heather replied triumphantly.

“What?” Astrid craned her head over the armrests between them.

“I found it guys,” Heather announced. Everyone quieted and she pressed play.

Snotlout’s eyes widened. “Oh no.”

---

"I can't believe you guys are serious," Snotlout grumbled. "We don't need to go this hard."

“You absolutely do,” Hiccup assured him, biting back a laugh. “She’s worth it, remember?”

“There’s no guarantee this will work,” Snotlout pleaded.

Hiccup’s face grew sober. “No, there isn’t. But you are gonna do your best and put your heart out on the line because not doing that is what caused you to lose her in the first place. And if after this, she can’t see your sincerity, then she’s not the one for you, okay? You got this, cuz.” He clapped Snotlout’s shoulder cheerily.

“Everyone in position?” Astrid called softly. It was two o’clock and sunny on a Saturday morning and the gang was gathered on the lawn of the big, nice, expensive house Snotlout’s ex Minden shared with her two roommates. Heather checked her phone.

“Okay, they know we’re here. Ruff, Nadia will meet you by the window over there.” She pointed at the window. “Fishlegs, get the hose ready to throw. Eret! You’re on the left!”

“I am on the left!”

“Snotlout’s lefts. And practice the moves in sync.”

“What were we doing all day yesterday?” Snotlout asked sarcastically under his breath.

“Trying to keep up with me,” Tuffnut answered primly. “Now, don’t be afraid to move your hips and keep your body loose.” Snotlout pinched the bridge of his nose.

Astrid checked the old boom box. “Bluetooth is connected,” she reported. “Is the song in the right position?”

Heather switched apps to check. “Yep,” Heather verified.

“Camera’s all set up,” Hiccup added. “We are never letting him forget this.”

“Make sure you record it well; Atali wants a copy of the footage as payment for helping us.”

Ruffnut popped her head out of the first story window and waved her arms. “You wouldn’t believe it, but they’re already playing some Taylor Swift songs,” she called down. Fishlegs chucked the hose up to her. An indistinguishable pulse of sound drifted out the window.

“Quiet!” Heather hissed. “We really don’t want them hearing us before we’re ready.”

“Jeez, fine.” Ruffnut rolled her eyes exaggeratedly. “Fishlegs, this hose isn’t on; turn the nozzle.” Heather yelped and jumped out of the way as a jet of water squirted at her.

“Ruff!” she screeched. “The setting is shower and you’re supposed to be pointing it at Snotlout, not me.”

“Sorry!” the female twin called down.

“We really don’t need the hose,” Snotlout interjected.

“We should probably use the hose. The first lyrics are ‘stand there like a ghost, shaking from the rain,” Fishlegs spouted.

“It’s a nice touch,” Astrid agreed, hiding a smile.

“Besides,” Eret nudged him, “Your shirt’ll be soaked and you can flex your muscles at her.”

“Just don’t go flexing your muscles,” Snotlout grumbled.

“I have a girlfriend,” Eret reassured him.

“Yeah, but my - I mean, Mindy - she’s hot.”

“So is Heather, but don’t worry, I won’t go flexing any muscles.”

Ruffnut directed the hose and cold water splashed onto Snotlout, Eret, and Tuffnut. Hiccup sniggered and pressed the record button.

“Ring the doorbell!” Heather instructed him urgently, fingers typing furiously. Snotlout did.

He stood there, soaking the cold water droplets while the hot sun beat down on his back, trying not to panic and reviewing the dance steps in his head to calm himself down.

After what seemed like forever, the door finally opened, revealing Minden’s beautiful dark face. She blinked a few times, like she couldn’t believe what she was seeing. Snotlout sopping wet and fully clothed in the middle of the day on her doorstep was probably the last thing she was expecting.

He took her in greedily, from her glossy unbrushed brown hair and her olive skin and the tired crust in her light eyes. He was pretty sure he wasn’t imagining the old tear tracks down her face. She was wearing no makeup and a ratty old T-shirt with a smear of strawberry ice cream down one side. There was no way he deserved an angel like her.

“Snotlout?” Girls thought Eret’s British accent was hot? Minden’s Aussie accent was the hottest thing he’d ever heard. “What are you doing here?” she asked, perplexed. “I-”

“It’s been a long six months,” Snotlout recited carefully. This was such a bad idea; she’d just think him more of a fool.

“Are you insane?” she asked, concerned. “It’s only been-”

“Minden, I was - I was too afraid to tell you . . . to tell you what I want.” He spat hose water out of his mouth so he could keep talking. He knew the hose was a bad idea. “But I’m telling you now . . .” continued Snotlout heavily. Astrid turned up the boombox’s volume and picked it up. Minden jumped, startled, taking in everybody as if for the first time.

“I want you for worse or for better . . .”

“I would wait forever and ever,” Snotlout sang along earnestly, Tuffnut and Eret dancing with him.

“Broke your heart I’ll put it back together,” he made a heart with his hands and shimmied alongside Tuffnut, trying not to cringe. It was easier than he thought though, being silly, if he just focused on Minden’s baffled face.

“I would wait forever and ever . . .”

Wait, wasn’t she supposed to be jumping into his arms by now?

“And that’s how it works, that’s how you get the girl,” sang Taylor Swift on the speakers, but it wasn’t working. Not for him, because he was Snotlout, the one guy who always messed up.

He tried to shut down the lump in his throat at the thought. He wouldn’t cry - his dad had drilled that lesson into him thoroughly enough. Leave the girly crying to his wimpy cousin Hiccup instead.

Now would be his cue to start laughing uproariously and yell ‘kidding’ and an I-can’t-believe-you-fell–for-that like he always did. Tuffnut kept dancing even as the choreography ran out and Eret cast a concerned glance at him as he struggled to stay in sync with Tuffnut. Snotlout didn’t keep dancing.

“Look, Mindy,” Snotlout bowed his head. “I understand if you have no interest in seeing me, and, you know, I wouldn’t blame you. I know I messed up.” He chanced a glance at her but she was looking at him steadily with a blank expression on her smooth face.

“I’ve never had anything like this,” Snotlout admitted. “I’ve never had a girl who saw enough in me to stick around - or even truly give me a chance. And then you came along and at first I thought ‘the joke’s on you because I’m not that guy,’ and then I realized that maybe I kinda wanted to be him.” He resisted the urge to shiver as the hose water ran down his back.

“I’ve been an idiot - you can ask anyone. And I’ve been a muttonhead too. But I miss what we had, Minden. I miss painting your nails and gluing sequins with you on picture frames. I miss our spa nights and face masks and rom com marathons and I would do whatever it takes to get that back.”

Minden’s mouth parted as if she was going to speak but nothing came out so Snotlout continued in a panic.

“I would do whatever it took,” he swore. “Even if it means standing here soaking wet trying to pull a Lloyd Dobler or waiting for as long as you need me to. I’d do it. Whatever you want. Even if . . . even if you just wanted to never see me again, I’d do that too.” He gulped, suddenly certain she would choose the last option.

“I . . . I think, no I know, I just, I’m pretty sure I love you, okay?! There, I said it! And I was so freaked out I withdrew and hurt you, and I’m sorry.” He shrugged and looked at Minden impleadingly.

“I’m also, um, running out of things to say, so if you just give me an answer that’d be-” he was cut off by Minden throwing herself into his arms, hugging him tightly and nearly toppling Snotlout over.

“You love me?” she asked thickly. Snotlout swallowed and looked around in a panic in an attempt to not meet her eyes, but since she was taller than him he had nowhere to look.

“I . . . yeah,” he sighed. “And I . . . I don’t really . . . um,” his hands rested hesitantly on her waist.

“I love you too, Snotlout,” she half-laughed, half-sniffed. “I really, really do.”

---

“Awww,” squeaked Fishlegs adoringly. “I just love true love!”

“It was about time,” Atali announced from the doorway. She walked over to Hiccup. “Did you get that all on camera?”

“Oh yeah,” Hiccup said, grinning. “It was surprisingly sentimental, a truly phenomenal thing to get on camera when it comes to Snotlout.”

“I also got a good angle of his face when he was apologizing,” the redhead grinned. “Want me to send it to you?”

“Oh yeah,” Hiccup said eagerly.

“Thanks again for agreeing to help us,” Heather said as she came over, pocketing her phone. Atali waved a lazy hand.

“Honestly, it was about time,” she admitted. “If I had to listen to “All Too Well” for another minute I would have gone mad.”

“Or any other Taylor Swift break up song,” Nadia, Atali’s girlfriend, chimed in.

“Guess it was more serious on both their parts than we thought,” Astrid said thoughtfully, setting the boombox down carefully. “I’m happy for them.”

“Ruffnut!” Eret called. “You can turn off the hose now!” The female twin cackled and turned the hose on Fishlegs, who yelped shrilly and tried to run away.

“Help! No - Stop!” he cried, perturbed. Ruffnut just continued to laugh. Heather’s eyes widened as she quickly realized what was about to happen.

“Look out!” she called a second too late as Fishlegs barged into Hiccup and Ruffnut’s hose, which had been following him, sprayed onto everyone. The girls shouted while Hiccup groaned pitifully from underneath Fishlegs. Eret walked over and wrung his hair out onto Heather’s face.

“Eret!” Heather shrieked, outraged. Her boyfriend just laughed. Atali took off towards the house to try to wrestle the hose from Ruffnut while Fishlegs scrambled up and tried to hide behind Tuffnut, who was bent over with laughter. Hiccup wheezed on the ground, not bothering to try to move. Astrid chuckled and helped him up.

“Thanks, milady,” he said gratefully before shaking his head like a dog, spraying water droplets all over her.

“Hey - Argh!” she cried, swatting him away and backing over to Heather.

“What do you say we even this game out?” she murmured. “We brought water guns.” Heather looked askance at her.

“You brought water guns?” she asked. “Why?”

“Have you ever known me to not bring a weapon for every occasion?” Astrid pointed out.

“That’s fair,” Heather acquiesced.

“C’mon,” Astrid grabbed her friend's hand. “We have to get there before Hiccup does!” Heather turned to look at the reunited couple, who was retreating into the house, a dopey smile with just a hint of anxiety on Snotlout's face, and a determined look on Minden's.

"Can you believe this actually worked?" Heather nudged the blonde. She turned to follow her friend's gaze.

"Honestly?” she shrugged, “I'm a little surprised, but I guess it's about time Snotlout finally got a girl."

[van-goghs-smoking-skull]

So, I did a thing. No, the album has been out for a while now, but it wasn't really available for entirely legal download, as in you could download it, for free, but you'd have to download the parts with unauthorized downloaders. Well, I'm adding my work to the Internet Archive, and while you should wait a couple hours to try the link (it's all errors now as it's still uploading and processing - 1.7G of the original wav file takes it a minute).

Yes, the individual tracks will be there in mp3 format, but this time you get the entire wav file along with that, before it was cut up into tracks, before the annoying stop-silence-start of what had been up before, back when it just flowed together as intended.

Anyway, I'm hoping if all goes well, I'll eventually get the other albums uploaded. It's rather nice that I am finally able to distribute it in full without having to pay an arm and a leg for a label to provide marketing, printing, and distribution services.

If you really, really feel the need to pay for the album though, hit reblog. After all, I'd prefer that to money for these.

https://archive.org/details/clarus-obscurus

[shinygoku]

A Hard Day's Night (1964)

March is here and we have a strong entry for this CutCat Reviews Beatles Albums series! However I wanna specify that this is the Album and not the movie, though the Movie is something I'd like to delve into at a later date~

I like the concept behind this cover, conveying some of their Range through multiple pictures. It was oddly hard to get a high resolution pic to put here (I ended up screenshotting the YT upload instead lmao), it's good the actual photos are high contrast. Far from my fav set of images but better than the US version lmao

Anyway, other than being the Album of the Film, this is notable for being the first All-Originals LP, as well as being very John heavy, with George leading vocals on one song, and Ringo having none. Before I hear 'em all, the ones that stick most in my mind are the title track and Can't Buy Me Love, so let's see how the whole album is to experience~

SIDE ONE

A Hard Day's Night: <TWAAAAAAANG--!> An amazing start (if a bit of a Headphones User Jumpscare) and a beautiful medley of their different instruments and vocals. The 2023 remix makes the distinct elements clearer, so I heartily endorse giving it a listen even if ya've heard the song or watched the movie hundreds of times!

I Should Have Known Better: Harmonica is still in heavy use here! After that, the first note is ...less than melodic, but the more words we get into the song the better it gets, until the chorus resets back to the long drawn out "I" again lol

If I Fell: The harmony really offers a pretty sound to this number. It kinda feels like a sequel song to I Wanna Hold Your Hand, albeit I do prefer that one. It's pretty but the way the Ex keeps coming up leaves me unsure of the intended Vibe. I like it more in the Film where John is serenading Ringo tbh :3c

I'm Happy Just to Dance With You: Oh hey, George! And dang, this is the 2nd song to reference Holding Hands, and again it isn't as bodacious as that, but I am enjoying this song on its own merits lmao. It's jaunty and yet casual, there's a warmth to the energy here. It's straightforward and sweet, I'd even go as far as to say it's a hidden gem, and the bass and drums have me moving about~

And I Love Her: A pretty Paul song that perhaps feels more like poetry. Groovy guitars and bongos lend a good atmosphere, and the lyrics paint a nice visual. It kinda feels like the sort of song that is best on a nighttime drive, even though vinyls weren't made for cars lol, just a nice vibe to it...

Tell Me Why: This album has a lot of distinct openings already, doesn't it? This is a Displeased Song, but there's a good groove occuring and dope vocal syncing. Like I Should Have Known Better, I prefer the parts of the song that aren't the title, however this one grows more on me than that lol. Annoyingly, this was not given a 2023 remix, so the lovely drumming work isn't as apparent as it deserves!

Can't Buy Me Love: CAN'T BUY ME LOOOO-OOOVE !! Like, man! That's another hugely catchy opening and refrain, innit~ It's all too easy to be cynical and point out how much cash these lads were raking in, but the words still ring as the truth, and the song is an all-around Bop! I like the little pauses in the instruments each time the "I don't care too much for money" line returns, it's all punctuated so nicely, and the SCREAM! And then an instrumental break between that and looping back into the verse is such an aural treat~

SIDE TWO

Any Time At All: Hmmm, sounds like it's aping From Me To You in sentiments, though obviously the melody of this is different. I'm inclined to put this in the heap of "Original Beatle Songs that still get lost in the shuffle even though it's perfectly decent", but not a hidden gem like I'm Happy Just To Dance With You is lol

I'll Cry Instead: A Bluesy number with a nice rhythm and fun uhh, middle eight? Though the vengeful flavour dampers my enjoyment, what have these "other girls" done to earn your threats, hm? It's not bad but it's not appealing.

Things We Said Today: Ahh yes, the famous reverse-nostalgia song! I like the sentiments but this time the music doesn't feel as memorable and hum-able. The chorus amps the energy up but this Paul one is firmly in the shadow of the other two solos he did on this album. But he do be right; love IS love!

When I Get Home: Hmmm..... this one ain't making a strong impression. The main thought I have is how it's title is similar to the refrain in AHDN "when I get home to you", but without the dope energy that one has. I'm starting to think they frontloaded this album, but there's still a couple'a songs left...!

You Can't Do That: I'm listening to the 2023 version and ooh hi Cowbell! ...wait a sec, a jealousy song? One with threats woven into it? :/ .....how come this was selected for the '23 Red Album? The chorus sounds better but nah, this ain't doing it for me.

I'll Be Back: Hmmm, after the Terminator video suggestions, I opened this song for a creepy stalker song [albeit with good instruments]. I'm bored of these vibes on side two!!!!

CONCLUSION

Best 3: A Hard Day's Night, And I Love Her, Can't Buy Me Love

Blurst 3: I'll Cry Instead, You Can't Do That, I'll Be Back

Overall Quality?: Woooow what a beast of two halves!! Side 1 is hit after hit with all the memorable numbers, and I was starting to wonder if this album was the stealth early best?? And then Side 2 is mostly "Meh" to "Ouugh I don't like this!". Damn. I guess overall I'd say it's Uneven, but with the caveat that side 1 is a lot better overall than the average set by Please Please Me and With The Beatles. Maybe they shoulda crammed a Ringo song in? ¬w¬;;

It's really annoying that Side Two drags it down so much. I like 3's but I'm Happy Just To Dance With You is a close contender for the top 3, but the ones I selected are just soooo Iconic, innit. If I was judging the album just based on the first side I'd say it's Really Great, but I'll hafta save more glowing praise for an album that has it all later down the line...

🪲🪲🪲🪲

Next tiiiiime, on Beatles Ball Z... we see the burnout that occurs after a film, an all-originals album, and of course, the Beatlemania that had them charged at by excited girls and weirdo reporters. Find out what happens in Beatles For Sale!

[sizzlingpatrolfox]

okay what’s your analysis of this album. also the mv that debacuhery kind of aesthetic god *chef’s kiss*

I was so excited last night when the album and the MV came out. I had so much adrenaline in my body lmao. Then this morning I woke up, had to go out so I played the album on spotify while I was out, walking. Later, I came home and the interlude was playing again and I started ugly crying at that bit of Jimin introducing himself at the concert.

Well, it's obviously a sad album. There's so much frustration and loneliness and disappointment at oneself in almost every verse of every song. Musically, as far as sound and music genres go, I love all of it. I think it sounds expensive, polished, high quality. He sounds better than ever and his voice is so dynamic, changing with every line, every song. It should be talked more often the way he's able to mold his voice to every music genre. I really don't have much to say about the sound overall because I honestly love every bit of it. I've been enjoying listening to all of the songs, they're just good good songs. It should even be a longer album, imo. But also the songs that are there are kind of enough to send the intended message across.

Face-off starting with that clown music is just genius. To me this song feels like a critic to himself and talks about self-sabotage. I don't really think it's about anyone in particular, but just an abstract song about realizing that you've made a fool of yourself for whatever reason. I know it's a 180 from that but it actually made me think of how in Promise he talks to himself /about himself in the third person. It starts strong, talking about drinking, which is the persistent theme throughout the whole album.

Alone is a very consistent track with the overall concept of the album and the explanations Jimin himself gave for it. You could probably sum up the whole album in just two songs: Alone and Set Me Free pt2. If we go by credits order, alone it's the song Jimin had the most participation in writing and it does have the most raw, realest lyrics. In the first verse he does that thing of talking about himself in the third person "you tried to escape but you've lost your way". The line "always acting like I'm okay, I feel pathetic" really gets me. It's not really a song that needs any analysis, since it's all laid out pretty clearly. Face-off, for me when I read the lyrics, it feels like choices were made to fit the lyrics to a certain beat/rythm/concept/vibe, and not like the lyrics are the spotlight or the focus of the song. On the other hand, alone does come across as a song where the lyrics are the most important part of it. When I wrote about set me free in a different post, I talked about how my personal interpretation had to do with being stuck, with repetition and something you can't get out of; then the filming episode was posted and Jimin actually said that it was about that, the feeling of being in a hamster wheel. Alone touches upon that again. The same day, the same miserable feelings repeating over and over. Lyrically, alone is my favorite.

Letter is so beautiful. So soooo pretty and I wish it would've been in the album because it feels like a nice wrap to it. Like after all the chaos and self-hate, there's that song that's forgiving, warm and hopeful. I don't really think it's a romantic song; going by the references it really sounds like it's for army and it aligns also with the way he's talked in 2021 about how their "relationship" with army has changed from the beginning until now. I do think having Jungkook on the song was unnecessary because his background vocals aren't even that outstanding (in this song). But that's JK, he's been singing songs for army since forever so that's probably a reason why Jimin might've wanted to include him. I think Jimin said he will talk about this song when he goes live on the 29th.

I left like crazy for the end because this one is all over the place for me. The lyrics, the references, the MV, the choreo (that I haven't seen but we've all read the things people at the recording said), the explanations Jimin has given. There's like a million interpretations and then also none at all. You could take so many meanings from it depending if you're analyzing the MV, the lyrics, the things Jimin has said, later tonight when we watch the choreo that too will probably make it even more complicated than it already is LMAO.

Firstly, I think one of the reasons there could be so many angles to it and for the lyrics to be kind of... strange? It's because there's so many writers in the song. There are seven credited writers in this song, both the Korean and English version, and Jimin is second to last in contribution. Meaning that 5 other people probably had more input in the lyrics. I don't think that lyrically the song makes a lot of sense with all of the stuff that's been said about it. Is it about the movie, is it about Jimin's personal experiences, is it romantic, is it about sex, is it about a break up???

I was confused by the "she", at first. I was waiting for the Korean lyrics to come out because I wanted to see if Jimin had written it with pronouns. I geniunely didn't think it was something like him, to write a pronoun at all. And he actually didn't. If we go by this, he just wrote "baby".

I'm pretty sure the "she" was added by the other writers, to fit the beat better or to give it more sense to the whole concept. It's just a really random "she" at the beginning of the song.

Things Jimin has said about the song and what it means:

This song to me feels sadder with every listen lmao. My first time watching the MV, without subtitles or lyrics, what I got from it was that he was lost and lonely between the crowds. Again, the feeling like in set me free, of being there but not really being part of anything. There's couples kissing, and groups of friends in the MV, and some moments he's with them but for most of it he's just alone. Even the part where he's standing over the couple kissing, it doesn't feel like that's meant to represent him and a girl either, to me it's all about being alone while everyone else has someone.

I didn't get the feeling that there was a love interest, and I actually find the girl that's "wandering" kind of unnecessary because it leads nowhere...? I feel like they could've gone all the way and show them as a couple/exes if it was the intention, because it's safe. But that didn't happen. I don't know if the choreography will be more "romantic", but from what people have been saying it sounds like it could be more about just mindless touching, meaningless human interactions that are just a distraction for something else. That, I understand; I do get that from the MV and it makes sense with the explanation that Jimin gave about it being a song in which you're just trying to escape from feelings you don't want to -well, face. In the English version there's a line that says "numbing the pain", which is quite literal.

If I think about the movie, the characters are both alone in different parts of the world and they both date other people while still missing each other and never really letting go of what they had. They didn't get any closure. I could see that in the half-assed metaphor with the girl and how she and Jimin are "searching" for each other but never really getting together. In the movie, they're constantly trying to make it work but it just doesn't work. The characters are stuck in the past (again, a recurring theme in the album), and they keep trying to be together but it gets to the point where it's like "are we trying to make this work because we still love each other or because we're clinging to what we used to be?". It's in those particular feelings that the movie evokes where Jimin explanation makes sense, that it's about losing yourself because you want to stay in that fairytale with a loved one. Even if that daydream-like experience has already passed and now it's just painful and draining and a neverending circle of self-loathing because they can't be that same couple again.

Before the song/MV were out, a friend and I talked about how it would be about separation, and I thought that it could be about BTS, even. Then, Jimin actually said this:

And this:

I think it's another valid angle from which you could interpret this song, too. It would even make sense with the timing, because he said he was feeling like that during their Vegas concerts, and that was the last moments BTS were together as a group. Though I wouldn't necessarily take his words so literally. He said it began at those concerts, so it probably went on for a while after that. The songs are in order for a reason, and like crazy is one of the last songs of the album.

All in all, to me it really is unclear if this song was written based on his personal experience, a real romantic break up he actually went through, or if he was going through something else (disbandment) that he related to the story in the movie.

As for a general commentary about the album, I think he did a fantastic job at blurring the line and making songs where the subject is ambiguous. The songs can be read as being about other people, failed relationships, or they could even be read as self-criticism.

[hoodssery]

Recommending Video Essays #8

In lieu of any thoughts on video essays I'm gonna recommend an album, but not change the title because I think it's funny to mislead people.

Recommendation: In the Aeroplane Over the Sea by Neutral Milk Hotel

In the Aeroplane Over the Sea is an album that I can almost guarantee that you've at least heard of if you've spent enough time on the internet to be a part of the few people to see this post any time in the next six months. It's an album that gained a shocking amount of reverence in the late-aughts and 2010s, and has remained a cultural touch stone for people who's online activity descends, in some form, from boards like /mu/ and websites like RateYourMusic. It's an album that's filled with words that form barley intelligible surreal paintings for your ears. An album, filled with buzzing guitars that push the limits of whatever cheap equipment the album was recorded on. An album that very clearly push the limits of front man Jeff Magnum's vocals for a majority of the track list. An album I would guess most people (myself included) have to listen to at least 10 times before really understanding what it's even about. It's also proof that sometimes the most pretentious, annoying parts of the internet are right.

Listening to In the Aeroplane Over the Sea as many times as I have, I have come to the conclusion that you just have to listen to it at least once. So for those who haven't listened to it, I implore you to listen to the album, look at the cover art for the 40 minute run time, and just visualize. If I was reading this right now, I might be turned off by that ask, because assigning homework is a really annoying thing to do when recommending an album that's supposed to be great. But, if you're interested enough to read the rest of this, and you haven't listened to the album before, you should listen to it.

In the Aeroplane Over the Sea is one of the most fucked up albums I've ever listened to in my life. It is also really hauntingly beautiful. While there are certain ideas about the album, what that idea is used for I think is probably going to be different from person to person. This is usually a down fall of media in my opinion, because what was originally intended gets largely lost in abstraction, thus making that underlying thing that the themes all wrap around, generally unknowable. In the Aeroplane Over the Sea is still legible, even where the lyrics of the album suggests it's not.

From my point of view the album is mostly about faith, in the spiritual sense. What drives us as people to have a faith? The conclusion that the album very loosely comes too, is that it's an answer for feeling used. King of Carrot Flowers Pt. 1, the first track on the album, explores the start of the cycle that leads to both faith and feeling used. Just as the lyrics point to in the abstract telling of sex, the two characters of the song use each other and “learn what each other's bodies were for,” just as they would “lay and learn” from the unhealthy and abusive relationship their parents left out for their children. This continues further into the next track, King of Carrot Flowers Pts. 2 & 3, where just as their father dreamed of all the ways to die, they're left waiting for the salvation of Jesus, entirely separated from the world, and using their mother as a guide. I guarantee that after listening to this album, you have a different take on just these two first songs. But if you've been paying attention to the lyrics there are absolute core ideas that translate between your read and my read on the songs. This is what truly makes this album great to me. Managing to make a very thoughtful and human story through absolutely insane abstraction, while making all the potential thoughts of the listener coherent with both the album and other peoples thoughts. And that example I gave is just the first two songs. I'm not even going to take the time to delve into where ideology and faith thematically intersect in Communist Daughter, or where the tackling of the separation between life and death in religion separates the character's own life in Two Headed Boy, or all the other essay length topics present in the album.

The only downside to the album is that you'll probably have to listen to it a lot to get the bigger picture, and fully form your own thoughts and ideas on the entire album. Fortunately, this album boasts incredibly beautiful songs that are still ringing in my head to this day.

In my opinion, In the Aeroplane Over the Sea is one of the oh so few albums out there that completely lives up to the hype it's given. There isn't a single down moment or worse song on the album, and each song (excluding the instrumental track The Fool) has enough to chew on for years of listening. Genuinely a modern masterpiece.